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Wikipedia defined selfishness as placing concern with one’s self or one’s own interest above the well-being or interest of others and, Encarta dictionary defined it as having concern with your own interest, needs and wishes while ignoring those of others.
If you’re with me, you will see that the two definitions are the same. You will also agree with me that we all are bound to be selfish from time to time. Though, some people may encourage it but, selfishness will only hurt other people and sometimes, with just a very little or no personal gain.
If you’re a selfish blogger or you’re selfish in real life, it will also result to your losing your friends and loved ones because, no matter how lively a selfish person may be, it will always be very difficult to maintain a relationship with a selfish person.
One thing that is funny here is that, one who is truly selfish seldom knows about it and, it will always be hard for him to consider the possibility that he is selfish.
Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness…… Listen to it carefully.
Many people also think that selfishness and pride is a good thing but in my own opinion, it will only get you more harm than good. I love the quote below…
Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves alone, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection- or compassionate action.
I know that until now, you might have not understood where I’m coming from and where I’m heading to regards to this topic because of the title I gave it but, let me clear your thoughts now.
Many times, there are some things we bloggers normally do even without knowing it and, some of those actions can be considered as being selfish and, I will tell you more about this now. Below are some of the actions that can tag you a selfish blogger and if you’re doing them, its better you stop and reverse right now else, you will be in a mission to liquidate your blog.
Your readers are the only people that will determine the success or failure of your blog and, I’m sure you normally feel very happy whenever you notice a visitor to your blog and even happier if he comments or shared your posts.
But, why do some people always take their readers for granted? I’ve seen a situation where a reader asks a blogger a very good question after reading his post and you know what? This guy ignored him. I know that this has become a common scenario in the blogosphere but, why should it be so?
Yea, I know that there are some times when you might not have the time to respond to their comments but, what about when you finally got the chance? What stops you from responding to them then? There is a different between the fact that you always interact with your readers via the comment section of your blog and that you didn’t have time to interact with them sometimes, they will certainly understand that.
But, most bloggers have formed it as a habit to be a snub and, it’s very bad. You might complain that you gets too many comments and that you can’t respond to all of them but, you can always respond to some, even if it’s the first 10-50 comments and, it will be obvious that you didn’t respond to all because they were huge.
Even Neil Patel whom we all know is one of the A-players in the business always tries to respond to his comments as you can see below from this post here.
Not only on that post, check out all the other blog posts on his blog and you will see what I’m talking about.
Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.
So, if you’re this type of person that ignores your readers then, you’re selfish and you have to stop it as soon as possible.
Yes, I’m not saying that you should read and comment on all the blogs out there but, it will always be kind of you to visit some of your friend’s posts and appreciate their good work.
Blog commenting is one of the best ways through which we can build a solid relationship with other bloggers and, it’s a matter of giving and taking so, why are you finding it hard to read other peoples posts? Remember that the more you read, the more you will also learn new things.
So, what I’m saying is that it’s also a selfish act not to be commenting on other peoples posts especially the people that normally comment on yours. Even if you don’t always have the time like most of us, you should always try and do it when you have the opportunity and, they will also appreciate it by reading and commenting on your own posts. You can ask my friends Adrienne Smith and Harleena Singh more about this because they are very good at it. Now, I know that I’m also guilty of this due to my busy days but, I’m trying to stop it.
The only gift I have to give is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is then, my gift to you is to allow you to give to me.
However, remember that when you’re commenting on other people blogs, you’re also helping your own site in so many ways because, blog commenting itself also have lots of benefits especially when you leave quality and relevant comments. Check out what Rand Fishkin from Moz has to say about it.
Remember, sharing is caring and, it will never cost you anything to click on those share buttons on the post you read to share it with your friends. It will only cost you about 2 minutes and the whole sharing stuff is all over.
You’re not only sharing just to promote the post but, your friends might also need to read it as well. And, if you share your friends posts, they will also come back and share yours making it a win-win stuff.
Selfish: a judgement readily passed by those who have never tested their own power of sacrifice.
Don’t misunderstand me on this one, it’s actually good to seek for other people’s help at one point or the other, especially from people you’ve connected with but, one question many people always ask themselves when you reach out to them either for them to help you and review your product or something like that is….. What’s in it for me?
Now, they might not ask you this question directly and, they might also end up helping you but, one thing you should always bear in mind is that, it’s never easy for someone to spend his time to help you so, it will be so kind of you if you can show him appreciation in one way or the other.
When reaching out to someone to help you especially on something that is a bit tough, let them know that you will also do something for them in return. Or better still, find a way to help them with something on their blog first before asking for their own assistance.
Sometime ago, a blogger reached out to me asking for my assistance, he wanted me to optimize his blog for him and offered to write a post for me at the end, I finally optimized his blog but told him to forget about the post. At least, the offer he gave me motivated me to help him knowing that he knew the value of my time.
This is especially if you’re reaching out to someone who do not know you before. Awhile ago, I received an email from one of the pro bloggers that I subscribed for his email list and, he was telling us (His subscribers) that someone asked him to review his new book for him and he turned him down.
His reason being that he doesn’t know the guy, the guy never connected with him in any way before so, how then is he going to help someone he doesn’t know?
You see what I mean? Before someone will agree to help you in such an issue, it’s either you’re a regular reader of his blog or that there is something in it for him.
Therefore, if you always want people to help you when they’re not benefiting from you at all, you’re selfish and, you ought to stop it now before it ruins your business.
Selfishness is a bad habit. That’s why I always rationally think through my decisions to act without regard for others.
This one is for both bloggers and non bloggers. There are some people that never care for other people’s feelings, they always want things to be done their own way and, this is very bad. If you’re this type of person, you need to change because; it will do you no good.
6. Not Buying Through a Fellow Bloggers Affiliate Link:
Now, this is very bad. I’ve heard a story before about a blogger who doesn’t like buying any product through a fellow bloggers link. If he read a review of a product from any blog and if he likes the product, he will simply search for it on Google and visit the site directly now, I keep asking myself….. Why do some people do this?
What harm will that few dollars that guy will earn from that sale if you had followed his affiliate link do to you? The worst part of it is that these guys will also be promoting some other products on their sites and they will like people to buy from their link… This is pure selfishness in its core and if you’re doing it, you better stop because there is a thing called nemesis.
This is the one that pains me the most. Many bloggers want to make money for nothing. If you’re not willing to spend money for the running of your blog then I’m sorry to say that you’re also selfish.
Truth be told, you can’t make money without investing money and if that’s what you’re doing then, you need to rethink because you will not succeed. For you to build a popular blog, you need to invest in so many things ranging from getting your own domain and registering it with a good and reputable host like this one I’m currently using (Not an Affiliate) investing on the design of your blog, creating good and actionable contents and purchasing some of the tools that will enable you to fast track the growth of your blog.
Spending money on these things will also enable you to serve your audience the better by increasing your blogs user experience (UX) and in turn, your readers will grow to love you, your blog and your writing.
You might be tempted to go for any of the free or cheap hosts out there when starting but believe me; you will end up regretting it later because sometime in the future, your blog will start slowing down unnecessarily and might even get hacked because of poor security therefore, it’s best to spend the money now to save yourself from future stress and headache.
1. Learn to develop compassion for other people: Always allow yourself to imagine how they feel, what makes them happy and what hurts them.
2. Put the needs of other people before your own: Pay attention to the people close to you in order to discover what those needs are.
3. Give before you expect to receive: Before you expect something from someone, make sure he has also benefited from you in one way or the other. Before you expect people to share your posts, try and share theirs too.
Also, if you have to ask someone for a favour, offer to do something for them in return just like I’ve mentioned above.
4. Always look for ways to help: Join others who are kind and reciprocate kindness. Being with other selfish people will not help you become a better person. We will always be like the company we keep.
5. Have a listening ear: There is a big different between perceiving something and actually consciously listening to what people have to say. Act as if you see people’s problem by being in their own shoes.
6. Support fellow bloggers in any way you can: There are many ways you can support a fellow blogger, just do it in any way you can. Assuming you want to buy any product related to blogging, it will be so good of you to ask your blogging friends if any of them is promoting that particular product and if yes, simply buy from their link and the person will forever remember it.
And one day, he might also do the same for you so; it’s a win-win situation.
Finally, there are many ways to know a blogger who is selfish and, if you’re doing any of the things I mentioned above, you have to stop doing it now and learn to be a generous blogger for your own good if not, it will not only kill your blog but, it will also affect your relationship with other people both online and offline. I personally hate doing anything with people that are selfish.
I will like to hear your own thought on this as usual, are you a selfish blogger? Do you agree or disagree with my points? Is there any other way of identifying a selfish blogger which I missed to add here. Please, leave your comment below.
Also, remember to tweet and share this post with your friends.